Some "Me" things

So, I noticed I haven't posted a lot about me at all recently (or just in general), and so I thought I'd do a quick (sure) post on what I'm up to. Where do I start? Most people know that I am a total blog stalker. I don't post many comments, but I check all my friends blog at least once a day (which is why I try to blog often because I hate when I have nothing to read, so I assume others hate when they have nothing to read on mine). Well a friend of mine had this blog on her favorites "Audrey's Story" and a couple months ago I started from the beginning (settle in if you decide to do this, and DEFINITELY have a box of tissues, ESPECIALLY if you're pregnant!) of her blog and began reading, and of course I'm still obsessed with checking it every day. If you don't have time to read it, the short version is the woman doing the posting is wife of a member of the Christian group Selah. Just this past April she gave birth to her 4th daughter, only to lose her 2 hours later. They knew for months that their precious child would most likely not make it, and it is just a heart wrenching, touching story. But what really drew me to this blog and this woman was her truth. Her deep openness about her walk with Jesus and how clearly she hears Him, talks to Him, believes in Him, even during the hurt, and how this was not how she always was. I've been dealing with this for months (ok, years since I've been a christian for 21 years): I cannot seem to get into a good quiet time/devotional groove! I go through spurts where I'll try every day, then I'll skip a day and all is shot. Or I will make the time and sit down and then not know where to go from there (even with a study bible, tons of books and monthly studies all at my fingertips). I've been praying daily for months, "God, please just draw me closer to you, I know I can't do this on my own." And boy is it amazing when you are faithful in prayer.



I started a bible study on Thursday mornings at our church just last week. It's called Stepping Up, a journey through the Psalms of Ascent and it's by Beth Moore. It's my first Beth Moore bible study, and I'm enjoying it so far. I've been pretty faithful this week doing my daily 'homework' as she calls it. Well today, Eric was away at technology training, and Cara was napping (always a GREAT 2-3 hour time frame where I usually just veg, eat lunch, or fold clothes, not much happening) and I did my study. I didn't have any laundry to fold (although I did leave dirty dishes in the sink) and so I thought I'd continue reading this book I've been reading for a couples months "Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. It's been good so far, but today, it's like every lie she mentioned was one affecting me NOW. The first one I read was "I don't have time to do everything I'm supposed to do" - ok, how many women don't buy into this one on a daily basis?? I know I do. She goes on to explain "The Lord Jesus Himself was given only a few short years on earth to accomplish the entire plan of redemption." Ok, so now I feel really bad, but then, the truth came out: "The Truth is that all I have to do is the work God assigns to me." Hallelujia. You know, when you are struggling with setting aside time to do bible study, it's really easy to say I need to fold clothes, finish this book, catch the end of the astros game, cook 3 elaborate meals, etc. And God may be calling me to do some of those things as a servant for my family (ok, probably not the astros game), but my first and foremost mission on this earth is to glorify Him. How can I do that if I don't KNOW Him? And just this past Sunday in church, our associate pastor preached on you can't Know Him, if you don't read His word and pray to Him. I now know my #1 priority for each day is to spend time getting to know my God. I won't be able to hear Him speak if I don't spend time with Him daily!


The very next lie we believe is "I can make it without consistent time in the word and prayer." Ok, now the book is just mocking me. How many times (and for how long) have I tried to do everything without Him?? I mean, I've always been a consistent pray-er, but sometimes I get redundant. "The Truth is it is impossible for me to be the woman He wants me to be apart from my spending consistent time cultivating a relationship with Him, in the Word and prayer."


Then next lie we believe, which I may turn some feathers here, is "A career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling than being a wife and mother." This is not to offend anyone, and most people know I had NO plans of being a stay at home mom. I NEVER thought I would want to do that, my mom even told me I'd be bored, but once I held Cara, I knew I didn't want anyone else raising her either. My life changed with the birth of our first child, and I can't thank God enough for it! I slowed down, I learned to cook!, I provided for my family in a way I never did while working and being stressed out all the time. Eric and I are happier, closer, more in love. We have me time and we time and fun family time. In Genesis 2:18 God gives the first idea of what women's role is "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'" "The bible is clear that a married woman's life and ministry are to be centered in her home." 2.5 years ago, I would have thought, how boring (and we'd be POOR!). But now, I am so richly blessed!!!


Eric and I were just talking about finances the other night. He took a pay cut to come to Katy (which we anticipated). What we didn't anticipate was the HUGE increase in insurance cost. He was saying, I wish teaching paid more (don't we all!), or I wish I could get a job at ConocoPhillips or somewhere. I told him, what don't we have that we need? God has continually provided for us since I quit my job. We live a fabulous life, filled with love, friends, family, prayer, and even a big screen tv (ok, both of us hate how big it is, that's how much God has changed us!!). We are in want of nothing, and that goes back to God drawing me close, even when I didn't realize it. How awesome is it that we are able to live how we live? Eric has every holiday off, and summers! How many kids can say they had both their parents home during the summer? We don't know if he will teach forever, or what we are called to do in the future right now, but I know that right now, we are where we are supposed to be.

So now that I've written a book (and quoted quite a bit of Mrs. DeMoss'), if you want to stop and say a little prayer for Eric and I, we'd love it! Don't we all need prayer? Please pray for God's hand to draw us closer. We both need to re-instate our devotional time on a consistent basis. I hope God speaks to me more clearly now, and that maybe someone will read this and relate. I have more to write, but I'll save that for later, so that you'll have to come back! God bless!