Good Words

I've been spending time in Proverbs on and off lately to break out of the bible study I just can't finish right now (I never have an hour in the mornings before the kids wake up!).   And today I had some great words in Proverbs 4.  I could write the whole thing here, but here are a few verses that spoke to me:

v. 4b "Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments and live.
v. 5 Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth.
v. 25 Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.
v. 26 Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure."

The chapter spoke to me in so many ways.

I've been having a bad attitude about teaching WAM on Wednesday nights recently, for 2 or 3 weeks.  Once I get there I'm fine, and the kids are such a blessing, it's just all the planning that goes into it, and the repetitive-ness of it.  We've been singing Christmas songs since August, to make sure 3 year olds get the words and movements to 5 songs by 12/2.  Now, 12/2 is in sight, and I'm just not totally sure how we are going to do this in-room production.  I haven't been stressed (besides the first week) about it at all, which is nice, but as it draws closer, and I feel unprepared, I'm trying to give it to God!

I have been praying about to homeschool or not to homeschool for over a year.  I kept Cara out of preschool this year to give it a shot, but that decision was made 5 months before I decided (from God's prompting) to watch Aynslee this school year.  I've also done lots of reading on how you can teach a 4 or 5 year old something in 2 days and he retains it much longer, than teaching a 2 or 3 year old something in 2 weeks.  So, I've been letting the girls just play all day, and have not been feeling guilty.  We still occasionally do some 'learning,' but it's mostly craft or fun related.  I refuse to feel guilty if I don't pull out a worksheet every day now ;). 

Anyways, last week I went to a friend's house to 'see how she does it' with 3 different ages at home, and to support a friend who is jumping mid-year into homeschool.  I've been writing different people I know who homeschool emails (and if you haven't gotten one yet, be on the lookout) about HOW you do it, especially with younger ones at home, and how I don't fell led one way or the other COMPLETELY yet, and so forth.  Two things came out of that meeting.  First, I felt very overwhelmed!!  She had books, Books, and more BOOKS!  Lots of materials, she had her school room all set up, the kids were sitting quietly working!  Then, I felt this peace come over me.  I asked lots of questions, she showed me her old curriculum she used, which I got to actually page through, how she organized their lessons for the whole year (can you tell God used her to speak to me, I am miss organize/budget 2 years in advance!).  It was so nice.  It wasn't me, sitting in front of a computer screen trying to see which curriculum I should choose based on some blurbs online.  It was hands on.  It was free-ing. 

I have decided to homeschool Cara for kindergarten. I'm just going to put that out in the blogosphere.  I have also decided to put her in a Christian preschool next year.  Counter-intuitive?  Maybe, but I think it'll be one last year of really PRE school, that she gets to spread her wings and have fun with more organized things at a church/school, and I get to spend quality time with Micah, and hopefully baby Newsome #3 :).  I've talked to Eric about it, and he is supportive, he just doesn't want our kids to be the 'weird ones.'  My response, and maybe it's naive, is "well, if they are loving God foremost in their lives, I don't care if they're the weird ones."  I used to stress about, well if we homeschool, can they still get into Baylor (or another school we can ACTUALLY afford) :), etc etc etc.  Now, I know that God already has plans for their lives, and my whole purpose is to lead them in the way they should go, which is His way, and for our family, at this time, I feel it is to stay home.  And don't think I wasn't looking forward to them being in school and me having some 'time' to myself.  I still have those thoughts.  But God is changing my attitude and my thoughts about priorities right now, and I'm too excited to be selfish!!

I had not been spending as much time in God's word as I felt like I should be previously.  So, I started reading through the Proverbs, as I've done in the past, and He is really speaking to me.  I love His word, and the new things I find in words I've read hundreds of times.  And music really speaks to me.  I've said it before, but Addison Road's song "What do I know of Holy?" is my all time favorite song.  Every time it comes on I feel like I stop what I'm doing and truly worship.  Yesterday I was holding Micah, and it came on (I have KSBJ playing in our living room most days....much more calming than my voice!) and I just swayed and held him and gave the day back to God.  I know this post has been all over the place!!!!  But here are the words to the song, bolding is mine...what gets me every time!

I made You promises a thousand times

I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
Iguess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?
(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?